[The truth is, right now he probably looks more like he did on that very first day the two of them washed up on the Vandare beach than he has in all of the time he's spent here on the peninsula. He's a mess, vacant and exhausted; on top of it, though, he seems as though he's only still standing through some semblance of willpower alone — as though he knows he can't let himself crumple yet, so he simply won't until that time comes.

The questions that Rohan flings at him are sharp and edged, but he barely even feels them. The irritation doesn't get through like it usually does. It feels like there's a fog around him, soaking it up, blunting everything before it can get close enough to touch him.]

As long as I could. That's...what I told you. Was gonna fight it as long...as I could.

[I tried, he wants to say, like a child a quarter of his own age. I tried, I tried until I couldn't stand it anymore, and yet it still leaves him wondering, couldn't he have held out even one second longer? Just one more? Was he really at his limit when he'd given in?

It's the not knowing that's going to eat at him, he knows. He wishes it would've been easier to tell. It's too late for that now, probably.]

I just — went to town. Looked. I couldn't...find anyone, not anyone that — he had a dog and it didn't, it didn't like him and I —

[He swallows hard, one clawed hand coming up to cover his face, as he tries to steady himself.]

It was going to happen sooner or later. You've been telling me that all along. It's my fault that I never listened.